Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There r osticjed everywhere
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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