Life is so much better after having sex.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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