i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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