haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
