You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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