I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
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I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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