people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
