her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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