At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
