The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize