he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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