I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
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Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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