I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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