You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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