If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
