So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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