My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
