Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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