Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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