just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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