isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
