i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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