I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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