VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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