next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
