I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
