What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
