I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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