i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you win again, gameday.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
