the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
