Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
