I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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