The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
