My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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