Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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