Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
