you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
