Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
