it wasn't lemon gatorade
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
