I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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