I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
