You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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