Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
