I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
