We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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