Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize