It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dignity is for republicans.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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