Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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