I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You can't just leave with hair like that
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
