It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
