Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
