She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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