The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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