Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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