Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize