Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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