I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
