But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
