she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
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